Can you use health and wellness as a way to heal yourself?
 

Wow, what a complex question. SO much to unpack here. First, the three are interconnected. As far as a ranking order, the CDC/ Center for Disease Control shows that Physical and Mental wellness are of equal importance/ value. Spiritual wellness stands alone, but it is definitely linked to Mental and Physical wellness. In its simplest form, spiritual wellness is defined as awareness. Recently studies revealed that people still connect religion to spiritual wellness, and it all gets blurry from there. So this is where I leave the science and data behind and go off of my own lived experience and still probably weave in some data just for funnies J. In my opinion, as my physical health improved so did my mental health. My mental health impacted my emotional wellness and drove my behavior to feelings of loss and despair over my physical health. When I was physically well, I felt strong, joyful, confident, and tingly all over for my future. My spirit or self-awareness, of where I was and what I was doing, who I am, who I was, because of wins and losses always brought me up or down. My shifts in mood were driven by the story I was telling or my “self-talk” (amygdala response). I didn’t even know “my spirit.” After a few months of mental health therapy and some self-directed fitness routines, February 2021, was the first-time I hired a personal trainer for weight-loss, Devan Allan. I planned on a thirty minute session. We used a few minutes for gym etiquette and then spent the rest of the time doing bodyweight moves on a stepper board, I stopped at the thirty feeling great and ready to leave. Then my trainer, Devan, handed me a pair of 5-pound dumbbells and uttered “10 shoulder raises.” I am pretty sure I stared at him like “huh” then he showed me a little demo. By the time I got to the 5th raise, I looked up at the mirror for the first time during the workout (45 minutes in a room full of mirrors, didn’t even want to see me.) and I saw how badly I was struggling to lift those 5s. The neckline of my shirt had a “U” shaped ring of sweat and tears started to roll down my face. I couldn’t speak. I could just see ME. My SPIRIT. Devan looked up and said “Don’t cry. You’re almost done.” By then, the next round of clients arrived with the other trainer, Tommy. I watched myself as I finished those last few raises. In that moment, GROWN 240 pound ME saw the broken spirit that I promised I’d take care of if we could come to earth and have a body. I just couldn’t believe how I did that little spirit dirty. Ugggh. That was the moment. I wiped my face and I committed to delivering my spirit the life I had promised I would have, if only I could get to earth and have a body. So here I am. My physical and mental wellness are equally important to me. I check on my spirit often. I meditate on what I am grateful for every day. Mostly the small stuff. I try to breakdown my gratitude for the tiniest thing, like catching a green light, my dog making eye contact with me when I leave in the morning, my husband’s sound of breath when I catch it. These are the feelings I live for.